How to be a local in New Orleans for a weekend or a lifetime

New Orleans is one of, if not the, most amazing cities I have ever been in. New Orleans can be whatever you want it to be. You want to party all night that would put rock stars to shame, they got it. You want a cool chill spot that stays open till 8 am, they got that too. They say if you love everything about NOLA it will love you back. Same goes for if there is something you hate about it, NOLA will hate you back. If you can’t stand parade traffic then you can bet some parade will pop up and you will have to sit there till it rolls by. To me John Goodman said it best “Some of us just belong here.”

When I first came to NOLA I did the super touristy drunk fest. I went to Bourbon with a groom to be. We all had a great time. Drank too many hurricanes and hand grenades and never left that area. Some of it was because I was scared to. I heard all the stories of the bad things that happened. There are 3 things that will get you thrown in jail for sure.

Don’t piss on the ground. It’s hallowed ground in NOLA

Don’t pull your junk out. Girls can be topless but if a guy pulls his out, he is gone.

Don’t touch the horses. The cops take that very seriously as assaulting a police officer. I have seen many a frat boy slap a horse on the ass then get taken down.

It wasn’t till a few years later and several short visits that I had to opportunity to do an extended contract here. I spent the better part of a year and totally fell in love with the city.

Here are a few dos and don’ts on how to not be a tourist in NOLA

Don’t wear beads around your neck unless it’s Mardi Gras.

Nothing says tourist more than beads around your neck, especially if you are off Bourbon St.

Don’t walk around with a souvenir cup

One of the best things about NOLA is you can walk down the street with a beer in your hand. Just make sure it is in a plastic cup.

Get off Bourbon

You can stay in the Quarter but go explore. Check out Decatur or Frenchman.

If you are town for just a weekend and want to experience New Orleans at its finest here is a great weekend plan.

Now that you have the basics lets plan the weekend.

Day one: Arriving into NOLA

Most people drive into NOLA. If you do then as you come in make sure you exit off of I10 on Causeway south and stop at Chef Ron’s Gumbo Stop. Seriously I take everyone who comes to town to visit to this place. Get the Yumbo gumbo. Not even kidding about how great this place is. Chef Ron will typically come out to greet people as they are eating. If you want to try something else I highly recommend the Chicken Jefferson or the Crawfish Etouffee. My personal favorite is the hot sausage sandwich gumbo combo.

If you arrived some other method and are already downtown, I highly recommend Sbisa’s. It has some of the best food I have ever tasted. Chef Robin turns every meal into a taste sensation. I always get the Duck Bolognese or if I am lucky enough for brunch, the Crawfish and Crab Eggs Benedict.

Now that you are full of food, get checked into your place. I always like to stay at a BnB. They are quaint and comfortable. My favorite place is Sbisa’s upstairs.  They have 2 rooms and the whole place transforms you back into the 30’s. It was a speakeasy for years and they do history tours through the restaurant.

Once you get settled it is time to hit the streets and see the sights. Once you step out on the street you at least have to go see Bourbon so I start off on the lower end.

If you have to make the track down Bourbon just know it is usually crowded and smells bad. This is part of the charm so just be warned.

It is hard to make suggestions of places to check out as you walk down. Have fun and enjoy the different sights. As a rule if a street performer gets you to stop or to take a picture of them, you owe them a dollar. Just don’t fall for the line “Hey I know where you go those shoes” (on your feet). If you feel the tug at your heartstrings to donate money to someone asking for it, at least make it someone who is performing a service and not just sitting there with a dog and a hand out. When someone approaches you just say “I’m a local” they will look for someone else.

Here is my list of stops I make and what to get when going down Bourbon headed towards Canal. Most of these are right off Bourbon but not far.

Quarter:

Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop. It is one of the oldest bars in America and a great place to start your night.

Boondock Saint – It’s a movie themed Irish pub that has good process and great drinks. Norman Reedus always looks for this place when he is in town.

Ali Baba Gyros – If you are hungry anytime of the night and you are close to Bourbon and St Peter, I highly recommend going here. They are literally the best I have ever had.

Molly’s On Toulouse – Great low key bar to hide out in and you never know who you will meet. I had a buddy hang out with Dave Grohl for hours here.

The Dungeon – This is a fun but odd place. When you walk in you are surrounded by a Goth metal theme. It is always dark and taking pictures here is strictly forbidden.

B Mac’s – I love this bar. I have always had great conversations with people. The drinks are cheap and it is full of locals.

Erin Rose – This is a super local join with a mix of tourists coming it. They have great po’ boys in the back and one of the best bloody’s you can get. Also open late.

Three Legged Dog – This is a little further off but gets a mention as it has pretty amazing food, super cheap prices and always a fun wait staff.

Prohibition Balcony Bar – This is the only place on Bourbon I really ever go to. The balcony is always open. The wait staff is always fantastic and the live band always sounds great.

The Jimani – (Pronounced like Jiminy Cricket) Once you get off and away from Bourbon and working your way back up this is a great spot to hit. They have a huge beer selection.

Chart Room – This is one of the best local spots to hit in NOLA. It has the largest shots poured I have ever seen. Just remember it is cash only.

American Sports Saloon – If you are in the quarter and want to watch anything sports related, this is the place to go. The upstairs is amazing and they even have TVs on the balcony.

Balcony Music Club – The place has great music and fantastic food. There is a separate chill bar in the back if it is too loud or crowded in the front.

It is not uncommon to stop and stay at any of those places for the entirety of the night. I know I have spent several in each of them.

Uptown:

Once you have had your fill of the craziness of Bourbon and the quarter get out and meet some of the locals. One of the best places to walk through is Magazine St. and the whole uptown area. I will focus on the cool bars, clubs and food spots in the area.

Domilise’s Po’Boys – They have some of the best po’boys in town and great history of New Orleans. Make sure you get a po’boy with debris. It is like gravy. Messy, of course, but well worth it.

Dos Jefes Uptown Cigar Bar – Since the ban of smoking inside of any place in NOLA, this is a great place to kick back, have a great cigar and enjoy some live local music.

45 Tchoup – Pronounced 45 Chop. This is a great local spot that is visited by Mardi Gras Indians and many other local groups on various days. You never know what will be going on when you show up.

Surrey’s Uptown – This is absolutely my favorite brunch spot in the city. You will often find me here eating the Corned Beef Hash (It’s amazing!) and a Bloody Mary from:

Le Bon Temps Roulé – Great spots to shoot pool and drink the day away well into the night.

Ms. Mae’s – It’s gonna be a crazy night if you end up here. This place is a 24/7 dive spot that is full of locals and great times.

I know there are so many other places to go that I have left out. After all this is NOLA and exploring the hole-in-the-wall places are the most fun.

If you don’t know where to go here is a handy flowchart to tell you where to drink. For true locals this chart is pretty spot on. Let me know what you think.

If I have left some favorite spots out on this list make sure to let me know them and what is so special about them. I will do my best to visit.